Let's sit in a corner and hold hands and talk about our feelings

Just thought I'd do a blog piece today because 1) I'm honestly as bored as a morbidly obese child in subway and 2) I figured I best keep updating this blog as much as possible because I genuinely like writing the pieces. Just gonna be another random piece (future pieces will probably go back to a “single topic” format with a more serious tone ha), I guess on what I’ve been up to lately and what’s been on my mind NIGGGUHZ :) 

TV SHOWS
- Been watching an absolute shitload of How I Met Your Mother lately, fair sure I’ve watched all 7 seasons almost In like two weeks haha! Barney Stinson is an absolutely classic character, never fails to make me laugh and there’s something about that show that’s so insanely addictive even though in my opinion season 7 is kind of homosexual, pun intended. Also just started watching 1000 ways to die again fucking classic TV show if you haven’t heard of it Google that shit and download it, and also decided to restart Blue Mountain State which in my opinion is one of the best TV shows ever created it constantly has me in tears due to the fact that Thad Castle is the BEST character ever created for anything, ever, period, finished, done, ever, ever.

Just recently finished off season 2 of Game of Thrones too and I almost died inside when I seen the midget die god WHO HURTS A MIDGET?! RIDICULOUS! (Apart from those midget wrestlers those crazy little fuckers!). Keen as fuck for the new season of How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Sons of Anarchy and any UFC event in the next….forever. Oh and I have also been watching a shitload of YouTube videos on ancient knowledge and the pyramids, very interesting stuff and addictive, if only I didn’t have an internet connection that even cavemen would laugh at the pricks…

MUSIC
- Still been listening to the usual lately (Stick to Your Guns, Northlane) but also been listening a shitload to the new Resist The Thought album, new Architects album and surprisingly a lot of Heaven Shall Burns’ older stuff, also been ripping a lot of D At Sea through my headphones, shit I’m cool, check his shit out. Been absolutely destroying Red Rooster lately with my super awesome 80’s psyche up mix and if you don’t like it fucking eat a dick because if you don’t enjoy listening to Bon Jovi and Motely Crue then you don’t deserve the air that you breathe!

FAMILY
- Basically same old on that front, been doing a fair bit of calf work at home to help out mum (I’m a fucking nice guy, Miranda Kerr take notice off this and ditch that bloom bastard babe), constantly being told that my music is shit and I should stop listening to it, which just makes me want to listen to it even more you idiots and been hanging around the grandfather as much as possible. He just went around Australia on a 3 week trip the lucky bugger, wish I could’ve gone fuck off university and work no one likes you anyways. I was also just recently told by a family member of mine that their son has been copping a lot of shit off his mates and he has bi-polar, this kind of shit makes me angry at humanity and wish that the Wanstead street warriors would rise up and kill everyone but I remain positive because I know there is a lot of decent people out there, you just have to open your eyes.

SPORT
- So I’ve been TRYING to watch the bloody NBA finals (eat a fucking dick Lebron) but I’ve had work for the past few days and missed the games, thank god because the heat one god I hate you Lebron once again eat a dick. Been watching as much AFL as possible, it has been an awesome year for footy with so many unpredictable and close finishes and the bombers have been flying quite high apart from their loss to Melbourne FML. Apart from that haven’t really watched much sport, although like I said in a previous post I will probably be a veg when the Olympics start (it’s not my fault I like to masturbate to the female weightlifters hahahahaha)

COMEDY
Been watching a shitload of live comedy performances lately, trying to watch as much of Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Dave Chappelle and shooterwilliamson videos on YouTube as much as possible (that’s why the internet is capped, not because of my fetish for hardcore German porn hahahaha I SWEAR XD). But even if I’m not watching these things I’m laughing at my own sense of humour anyway or reading Mahony’s blog and pissing myself because we’re both fairly hilarious, well I am he’s a fuckin white mutt hahah

FUTURE
- Been thinking about my future a lot lately too, I mean obviously I have because I have like 6 months of uni left, which is basically like 8 years because I will just fail everything ;) because I’m stoopid. I enjoy Commerce as a subject so hopefully I land a job in an area that I like, but when it comes down to it I don’t want to become some drone that just works 9-5 and gets drunk on the weekends, I want to strive to be something different and I want to be able to use the money I earn efficiently on things like travelling and using my time to spend with the people that I want to spend it with, but I guess a lot of people say that and end up just being a drone anyways haha, oh well at least I have my video games to finish WATTADORKKENTTTTTT

Keeping this post short, the next post I do I might make as big as my penis so like 124737472329838924239832 inches long. If you’re bored chuck us a text at 1300 6555 06 you fuckin spastics. But stay beautiful.

Stephanie Danielle Johansson
xo

Random yeeeboi

Decided to do a post on some things that I have discovered recently etc., gonna be a pretty random piece (a lot will have to do with positivity), but here goes!

1. I am a very angry individual, there's no denying that! Despite this though, I am trying to change the way I think and do things and try to do it in as positive way as possible. This is largely due to the band Stick To Your Guns and their brilliant releases 'The Hope Division' and 'Diamond', Northlane's inspiring release 'Discoveries' and my research of consciousness (most of it has been passed down from other people, I'm so very thankful for that and you know who you are). I used to sit around listening to angry bands such as The Acacia Strain, Confession and Whitechapel a lot and thinking fuck the world but I absolutely do not see a point in doing that any more. Don't get me wrong I think they are all talented bands, but I've definitely changed and started listening to a lot more positive-influenced bands and bands that have depth in their lyrics and musical content. Don't get me wrong, this world is one fucked up place, but I'm not going to sit back and just let myself fall into darkness and be complacent like the rest of society. The only way forward is to think forward and think positive and DO positive. "Well you say fuck the world, we say fuck you".

2. I enjoy a good mix of intelligent conversations (deep thinking) and not so intelligent conversations. 6 months ago I never really asked myself questions about the universe and what ties us all together, I never did research on the 'illuminati' or the 'Bilderberg Group' and what corporate wankers plan on doing to the population of the Earth, all I did was talk about regular things that don't involve much thinking. Don't get me wrong, I still love talking about things that in the end don't really matter, but intelligent conversations are much more stimulating. I'm lucky enough to have a few true friends that I can talk about these topics with and they understand or at least try to understand where I'm coming from. I love these people :) xo

3. No-one is unique, there is always going to be someone else in a population of 6 billion people that acts or thinks in relatively the same way as you do, but fuck me there are a lot of people that do the same thing. There are so many people out there that listen to the media's bullshit (thanks Mrs O'Connell for helping me read through the lines in year 10 hahaha LEGEND), that just stay complacent with their lives and are basically a bunch of fucking drones. Strive to be yourself and be different.

4. The environment at the shan and loft are much better drinking and socialising environments then the gal and eden in Warrnambool (the whalers is aiight though). This is due to a few reasons, the first being that there is less wankers at the shan or loft then the gal or eden (by wankers I mean people who want to fight for no reason, blokes that wear their V-neck fucking shirts to show off their sick as tatts, seedy fucks that grind against every woman in the joint, spreading their disease like a plague). The second reason being that everyone in the shan or loft to me seems like they're there to have fun and drink with mates rather than just go to the gal or eden to get a cheap root. Third reason, the music is tonnes better, unless of course Nicki Minaj really inspires you... in which case you are an absolute fucking muppet. I'm not gonna be a dickhead hypocrite, I've been to eden heaps of times before, but I DON'T go there with the intention of being a seedy poor cunt or to wear a V-neck, every time I've ever gone its been to have fun in my own way, if you can't accept that then fuck off and jump.

5. Our generation is the biggest whinge-fest I've ever seen in my life. Seriously go talk to your parents or an elderly person about any topic and they are far less likely to whinge than talking to someone around our age. I'd just like to remind all you people out their that there is currently approximately 1.7 billion people out there that that currently live in poverty, some of which can barely eat and drink fresh water every day AND YOU'RE 15 AND WHINGING ABOUT YOUR BOYFRIEND DUMPING YOU? Seriously shut the fuck up, pick yourself off the ground and press forward. Do something about yourself.

6. There's no point trying to change the entire world, it isn't going to happen unless you change yourself first. "You must be the change you wish to see in the world".

7. I cannot stand twats that show off their tattoos on purpose for attention seeking purposes. What's that mate? You have a V-neck on to show the hot as babez you've got a full sick tatt such as a Southern Cross or your last name on you? Gee you're awesome. By the way just a quick fact, the Southern Cross is on at least four other national flags in the southern hemisphere, so NO it is not Australian you idiots. Also people should stop saying "ink", for example "keen to get more ink", onya mate you should definitely lead this country... dickhead. (by the way I actually really like tattoos, there's just a lot of tossers if you get my drift)

8. Fuck I love sports, been watching the NBA finals as often as I can, try to watch as many AFL games as possible each week, love watching the NFL when it's on (don't watch it that often) and I'm probably going to be a fucking veg when the olympics starts, I was a veg when it was in Sydney in 2000 when I was 8 years old, why not be a veg now.

9. I have been taught some pretty awesome dance moves, and no not as awesome as that shitty movie You Got Served (the dancing was fair sick though aye), but I'm talking enough to make your mates laugh on the D-Pad. Yes I can now '4th quarter Lebron' on the D-Pad thanks to CD Marnz and I can do my own versions of the P.Meade guitar solo (or atleast try) and the DD3 (Dall-Diablo 3) move. Brilliant.

10. So many people are concerned with stupid things that shouldn't affect them.

11. Ancient knowledge videos are probably one of the best sets of videos I have ever seen, props to KC SLAB for showing me them. Links below, check them.

12. I hate my job at Red Rooster, I'm fucking outta there soon (5 years time). There aren't many people left that are awesome, although Sammy is my little apprentice (32-0 fight record, come at him). Fuck I miss the old crew.

13. So many selfish people out there that try to put others down to make themselves better, also so many clueless bastards out there that really have NO idea

14. Seclusion is good, because then I don't have to deal with people. Its the reason why I tend to stay home a lot, but at the same time there are a few awesome people I love chilling with, I just CBF with meeting new people a lot lately. Why bother when 99% of people are dickheads right? (if you're reading this you're totally in the 1%, ily sa much xoxo). But its frustrating at the same time because I DO want to meet new people, ah fml may as well go whinge on Facebook like a loser... and hot babez though come at me I ain't gonna complain.

15. Misconceptions are ripe throughout society, by god I've definitely fell for a lot of bullshit, thank Christ I've started to research things for myself and start building a knowledge base about important things in life and started thinking for myself.

16. Money is absolutely the worst thing in the entire world. So many people go out and work, come home, sleep, repeat. Wake up and live your bloody lives before they're over, it can be in the blink of an eye. Just be awesome like Jim Carey in 'Yes Man' and fucking do things instead of getting yourself into a rut of doing the same things over and over. I'm not saying be a homeless person on centre-link, but just spend as much time creating new experiences as you possibly can.

17. Continuing with the theory of money, so many fucking people are materialistic, it is beyond ridiculous. WHO CARES if you have an awesome house, computer, car etc., when I look back on my life I want to say "I had the experiences that I wanted to have" not "I had the car and house that I wanted to have". People need to grow up and really think about money and what it is doing to the world.

18. Uni fucking sucks, they make you pay what like 20grand+ to study a course, you'd wanna make sure you're gonna enjoy your job for the remainder of your life. So many people just do the job for the money and burn out, it happens to the best of us and will probably happen to me. Luckily I'm a Jew and have Jew gold so I'm set.

19. Warrnambool College taught me how to read and write.

20. Making people laugh is what I love doing most, or making myself laugh. I consider myself a successful comedian, successful because I can make myself laugh even if I don't make anyone else laugh. If you think I'm funny Ily babez4eva.

There's a billion other things I could write seriously, I can think of 5 more of the top of my head but I'm gonna go watch Barney Stinson be a boss. Stay beautiful everyone, ditch the make-up girls (and some boys, CD Marnz) and start being beautiful on the inside if you're a dickhead. Click any of the links below if you wanna watch some cool shizz.

Ancient Knowledge Pt. 1
Ancient Knowledge Pt. 2
Ancient Knowledge Pt. 3
Ancient Knowledge Pt. 4
Area 51: Frantic Call
Spirit Science: Astral Projection
FUNNY AS FUCK VIDEO. YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER. so much win.

Much love, Stephanie Danielle Johansson xo