As you all know I'm Christian, however I think the ten commandments are really fucking boring and bland. I mean honestly, every Christian out there has broken a commandment daily but it's not that big of a deal is it? I think it needs to be spiced up a little bit, so I have written a brand new set of ten commandments based upon how I feel they should be written! Enjoy!

The Ten Meade Commandments
1. Thou shalt not obey other jammers but Meade the almighty
2. Thou shalt not worship or idolise anything except Wayne Carey, Ollie Rayner, slutz, jodz and spanky
3. Thou shalt not take Meade’s name in vain, unless you are thy goat
4. Remember thy Sunday, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour except dirty mooches like Marnz; but the seventh day is for rest or schlamming after a big night at the gal or hush. On the seventh day water must be consumed in bulk proportion to ensure dehydration doesn’t set in
5. Honour thy goat (father) or he may rage; jam thy mary (mother) as they are weak. All sisters shalt be called sluts; all brothers shalt be called metros.
6. Thou shalt not get physical; fights will be resolved with words and logic.
7. Thou shalt not mooch ex-girlfriends or roots from thy fellow bro; regardless of the length of thy homogeneity   
8. Thou shalt not mooch working man’s hard earned tax dollars
9. Thou shalt not jam thy neighbour unless thy neighbour is of Japanese, Mexican or Korean descent.
10. Thou shalt not be envious of thy neighbour’s possessions. Unless thy neighbour is a dirty mooch in which case you can schlam thy neighbour’s wife, drive thy neighbour’s lambo and kidnap thy neighbour’s child as a personal slave. If thy neighbour possesses a 1972 kombi van then obtain a bus to jam thy neighbour



Realistically I see these as being more successful. Or as Jim Jefferies says maybe the bible should be a singular page document with four words written on it. (youtube it).

Stephanie Danielle Johansson
xoxo