To everyone who's held me up and everyone who's brought me down
I will never forget your faces, your voices.
To everyone who's held me up and everyone who's brought me down
I will never forget your faces, your voices.
Wink and smile for a while behind a mask
In a room of double faces, you can never hide what's in your past.
A. Fitipaldes
Haven't updated this motherfuckaaaaaaaaaaa in while so may as well share my thoughts to the internet world yo! Lately the main thing that has been on my mind is friendships and lots of small things that all intertwine and come back to the topic of friendship. Now don't worry, I will not actually name anyone because that's not how I roll but let's give it a crack ayeeeee.
So about a week ago someone said to me something along the lines of 'Your friends are so seedy and weird" or some bullshit like that, which actually made me quite angry because the person doesn't really know my friends at all and it lead to me writing a nice little Facebook status about all of my friends. You see the thing is, I don't deny the fact that my mates are weird fucks, but I'm also a bit of a weird fuck, even though I'd assume I'm into normal shit as well. However, that's not the thing that bothers me. The thing that ultimately bothers me is the fact that I've been told the same thing numerous times ever since I began high school by multiple sources and the shit is starting to get a bit old. I choose who my friends are based upon whether we have similar interests and whether I believe deep down that the person is a good-hearted individual and has the potential to not only be a great person, but a great friend to me as well. Appearance for me has never mattered. I wake up daily and don't really give a fuck about what clothes are on my back, what car I drive, what my house looks like, because I just don't give a fuck about how people perceive me. Actually let me rephrase, I don't give a fuck about how people perceive me; except for those I consider important in my life. How does this apply to friendship? Well it's simple really, I don't particularly care what people think of my friends and whether they 'approve' of my friends' "appearance". I'm always going to defend the mates that I have because I value them a lot, which sadly a lot of humans don't know how to do; value their friendships. Now by all means I'm not perfect, I've made mistakes before both in my personal life and with regards to my friendships, but I think I've learned a lot over the course of my teenage life and can say that I believe I am now a good friend to everyone that truly deserves my friendship.
Another thing that really annoys me is when people give up on friendships so easily. I have literally had a blew of some sort with every single friend that I currently have today, but that doesn't mean I just gave up on any of them because it's "hard" or "they don't do anything for me". Friendship is a two-way street, just because someone may not do a whole lot for me doesn't mean I don't a fair bit for them and therefore I value that friendship. I just think that some people (some friends included in this list) cut people off way too often because it's "too hard" or "doesn't benefit them". Doesn't benefit them? Really? Are we as humans so selfish and self absorbed that just because a person doesn't do much for them that we can't externally see that perhaps we as individuals do something for them? Perhaps we're a benefit of theirs even if they aren't for us? If everyone had that piss-poor, self absorbed attitude, then we wouldn't have gotten really far as a human race up until the present and would probably all despise each other!
As I said, I have had some kind of argument or fight with every single person I consider a friend today, but I haven't cut them out of my life for one simple reason; I care. I've had friends who I have had to take a step back from and say wait a second, you're being a fucking douche change your attitude! However I haven't completely deserted them because I know they're good people. I have also had a friend who I wasn't friends with for a year and a half and we reconnected and are now great friends again (even though sometimes I feel he/she is a bit pessimistic and is probably reading this right now, to which I say eat a dick because it's true, stop focussing on things you can't control and focus on the things you can). I have a mate who moved away who calls me almost daily which puts a smile on my face because I know he misses home and cares, I also have another mate who moved away and for a while I was being an absolute dickhead too but we are finally starting to reconnect again and I have a friend who I didn't speak to for nearly 2 years and we (up until recently) reconnected until they, in my opinion, decided to cut me off for selfish reasons (read above, "doesn't benefit them"). However I am proud to call my mates my mates and not only am I stoked with the new and old friends I have, but am happy with the people in my life I consider 'acquaintances' as well. I feel there are a few friends/acquaintances that I have that will only talk to me when I talk to them and some whom blame me for a deteriorating friendship (once again, read above "Friendship is a two-way street) but ultimately I'm happy, I just hope I'm a good friend to my friends! Because if I'm not I'll go out the back and smack my head against a brick wall for a few hours (compliment me guyzzzzzzz I NEED ATTENTIONNNNNNNNN).
So yeah, short and sweet, a bit all over the place. That's my blog for ya!
Keep it real yo
Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuffin ta fuk wit
Stephanie Danielle Johansson
xo
